St. Johns Independent News

Chrome, a shower faucet knob, and GM

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:59:05 -0800

Do you have the same problem I do after watching that Cymbalta commercial? It’s the music…it’s so damn depressing. It makes you feel like you need to see your doctor right away and tell him, I’m depressed Doc!

Don’t worry. After a few minutes into whatever show is following the commercial, you’ll be right as rain again.

* * *

Can’t our government do anything right? Now we hear that they’re running out of money to provide coupons for people who need a converter box to continue watching their TVs.

Now there’s talk about postponing the switch to digital until they can come up with more money to keep providing the $40 coupons.

That makes sense to me.

We got two coupons and bought digital converters and gave them to our daughter and son-in-law, Renee and Scott. I hope they know that if anything goes wrong with our cable, we get to go out and watch their TV and I get the remote control.

* * *

Whatever happened to chrome on cars? I remember that 1958 Buick Specials and those 1950s Cadillacs had a ton of chrome and looked like a million dollars. Especially those with black paint jobs. My 1965 Grand Prix even had chrome on the inside of the car.

I still dream about that car.

Part of the reason for not using chrome as much anymore is safety. It reduces the glare inside of automobiles and what other drivers see (glare) coming at them on the road. Another reason may be that chroming involves dangerous chemicals.

Federal-Mogul used to chrome tooling subject to wear and galling. They eventually found another way to solve the problem and got rid of the chroming room.

* * *

This year’s two week Tip-Up-Town at Houghton Lake takes place January 16-18 and the following weekend, January 23-25.

My first Tip-Up-Town was six years after it first became a winter festival. It was just a one weekend event back then.

Tipup

As you can see by this picture, I didn’t have a very good camera back then.

I tried to rectify that problem since then.

They had a simple parade with simple floats. Mort Neff came up and tried to give everybody’s secret fishing hole away. My Aunt never liked that guy even though she appeared on his show one time which was filmed during Tip-Up-Town.

* * *

I teased my newest son-in-law, Ross, about breaking the shower knob in the bathroom during the Christmas holidays. In reality it just broke from years of use. Call it fatigue if you will. As my granddad used to say, we used it well -- only he was talking about a guy.

What does a computer guy do to remedy the situation? He gets on the internet which is exactly what I did. Within a week’s time I had a new knob for our shower faucet.

An attempt to buy it locally proved fruitless even though they had plenty of other knobs. Just not the right one. In Gill-Roys’ defense they are the most valuable store in town.

At least to me.

Now what am I going to do to prevent this from ever happening again? I’m going to order backups for the knob and the valve (they’re on their way.) It beats the hell out of paying over three-hundred dollars to have the faucet replaced. The problem is they’d either have to go through a recent shower renovation (without a new faucet — my fault) or they’d have to cut an access door through the wall in the hallway.

Hopefully, I’ve avoided all of this.

* * *

The American tax payers just got a slap in the face from General Motors after we backed the loans to keep GM afloat. What did these intelligent people do? They announced they’re having one of their newest models built in Mexico.

Mexico reported that their car production increased last year while ours went down — way down. Doesn’t GM owe this country something instead of giving business to Mexico? Any new vehicles produced in Mexico, or anywhere else after the bailout should be labeled, "It’s illegal to sell this vehicle in the United States of America."

Let the Mexicans buy them.

Until the next time . . .

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Wondering, 0-16, and mind intact

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:55:14 -0800

I like to watch some musicians on TV, but I’m confused by one thing. Why do they wear what are either ear phones or ear plugs? With a backup band they don’t need music in their ears, but maybe they’re piping the words of the song in (not unheard of) or they’re trying to keep themselves from going deaf. If that’s true shouldn’t, we be wearing earplugs when we listen to their music?

Just wondering.

* * *

What seemed to be an impossible season could only happen to our Detroit Lions. 0-16. I still can’t believe it. These guys went 4-0 in the exhibition season which led some of us dummies (fans) to believe there was a good season ahead of us.

What do you want to bet that Santa left everyone of those ball players and coaches a lump of coal in their stocking?

Most of us fans were looking for a total house cleaning after the season, except for the owner of course. Instead they promoted two guys from within. These guys were part of the system when things went wrong, so what makes William Clay Ford think it’s going to be any different next season?

There are three guys eliminated from our list of candidates for the head coaching job: Marty Mornhinweg, Steve Mariucci, and Rod Marinelli. They are our last failures as head coach. Is Wayne Fontes available?

At least that means I’m still in the running.

I wonder why all these great coaches who have been successful elsewhere absolutely refuse to come to Detroit e.g. Mike Holmgren, Mike Shanahan, Jimmy Johnson, and Bill Cowher.

It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya! There, having said that I feel better now.

The Detroit Lions are going to have to create a winning head coach. Somebody who’s out there that nobody knows about; otherwise they’d hire him. Once he’s a proven commodity at Detroit we’ll have a hell of a time holding on to him.

Why not? He would have to be a hell of a coach to turn the Lions around.

* * *

I just love globalization — don’t you? Every time Israel and the rest of that bunch in the Middle East get a bad case of gas (I had to clean that up a bit), our cost of living goes up. This mess has been going on for hundreds of years, and we’re not going to change it in our lifetime.

We’re just going to get stuck with the bill. Good ol’ U.S.A.

* * *

What’s with all this moaning and groaning coming out of my mouth when I get out of my La-Z-Boy chair? Do any of you guys experience that? It didn’t used to be that way. I remember a time when I could leap over a tall doll house in a couple of bounds, but not anymore. I guess that’s part of getting older.

Oh well. If all I have to fear from old age is my body complaining to me once in a while, I’m luckier than most.

* * *

I had a song stick in my head the other day. It was playing at the end of the movie, Fred Claus. I let it wander around in my brain for a while hoping it wouldn’t get lost and came up with a name (I’m not as fast as I used to be.) My Back Pages performed by the Byrds; and yes, I have the 45rpm record. The song was written by Bob Dylan.

Roger McGuinn does a guitar piece in the middle of the song using what I think they called, "Over-dubbing," which is great! I can still hear it.

If only I could play guitar like that. My guitar play squawked at me, but that piece and today’s guitar play talks to us. I know that Ross and Cameron do a whole lot better than I ever did.

"Ah but I was so much older then . . . I’m younger than that now."

* * *

I like to watch Book TV on C-SPAN2 and listen to the authors of numerous books. One guy came on the other day to describe his book, and I have no idea what he said.

Maybe I won’t buy and try to read his book. That would be mission impossible.

* * *

Why is a pyramid scheme all of a sudden called a Ponzi scheme? Is somebody messing with my English again? Come on — knock it off.

Either way somebody has been duped out of their hard earned money; but it will forever be a pyramid scheme in my mind.

Call me stubborn.

Until the next time . . .

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Pixelated, things that live under rocks, and sports stadiums

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:25:03 -0800

Do kids get those crystal radio kits for Christmas anymore?

I didn’t think so.

* * *

We’ve gotten an early exposure to digital TV. Every once in a while the picture will pixelate, and our TV picture turns into little checker board squares. I hope this is just part of tweaking the signal; otherwise we’re in for some fun in February.

* * *

Can you imagine that? Now what am I talking about, you ask? President Richard M. Nixon. People looked at President Nixon in the 1970s and said, "Now there’s a crook." Nixon didn’t believe he was. Today there’re people in this country crawling out from under rocks that pose a bigger threat to us than President Nixon did.

We’ve got more crooks in our government, corporations, and financial institutions than we know what to do with.

Why do we have so many of them?

History will be kind to President Nixon because of comparisons to what we’re seeing today. What President Nixon did seems more like a misdemeanor to me. For every lousy President or bad situations we find ourselves in, Nixon climbs one more rung up the ladder.

We survived Richard Nixon…I’m not sure we can survive these modern day crooks.

The new motto for this country that once served as the title of a Johnny Carson day time show.

"Who do you trust?"

* * *

The Indianapolis Colts are playing in a new stadium this year. Their old stadium has already been imploded and turned into nothing but rubble. I said old but I shouldn’t use that word. The stadium was only 24 years old.

That’s what we do in this country now. Things become not good enough in a hurry.

Team owners claim they need more revenues from the stadium, from such things as luxury boxes and more restaurants in order to make the team’s payroll.

I can’t believe that.

The Detroit Lions left the Silverdome in 2001 after 25 years and probably for the same reason. The stadium was bankrolled by Michigan tax payers. Don’t we wish we had that money back now? My problem is with the exception of Calvin Johnson there’s no Lion player worth more than a million dollars a year.

That’s just not possible.

We’ve put sports ahead of what America really needs. More attention to things that really count in life.

* * *

Now for a bit of holiday advice, don’t keep your hands in your pockets when you’re walking on ice.

Happy New Year!

Until the next time . . .

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A new toy, PAC money, and Lone Survivor

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:06:47 -0800

I got a new toy for Christmas. Already you ask? Yup, already. It’s a negative scanner, the perfect gift for a guy who has hundreds (sometimes I think it’s thousands) of negatives ranging in size from 35mm all the way up to 4x5 inches. I have bigger negatives that are an oddball size by today’s standard, but they won’t fit in any of the negative holders that came with the scanner.

I have a darkroom in the basement and have in the past relied on that to do my film developing and printing pictures. I’ll still have to use an outside source for the big negatives (4-1/2x6-1/2) unless I can come up with a handmade negative holder. There is such a thing as an 8"x10" negative, but I personally have never seen one.

Can you imagine the size of the enlarger to handle one of them if you wanted blowups? Me, I would just make a contact print and be happy with that.

I also received another early Christmas gift from Jean, a book. The title of it is The Best of Barry, and it’s full of photos I took this year that Jean picked out. You can’t go to the library and check it out; you can’t find it on a book store shelf. It’s a one of a kind book with photos from cover to cover.

It’s looking at my world through the eye of my camera. I had to say eye because my camera’s a Cyclops.

[Editor’s note: In our year-end issue we will share Barry’s photos with our readers.]

* * *

For as long as I can remember the UAW has used their PAC money to support a Democrat for office; otherwise they supported no candidate at all. I’m not aware that they’ve ever supported a Republican. Well, guess who’s trying to even the score? I really don’t admire the Republicans for doing that in face of what’s going on in this country. What they’re doing is petty.

I’ve said it many times before; our government does not represent We The People anymore. They aren’t simply elected by the people to get into office; they have to be bought and paid for before hand by special interest or foreign interest. Once they’re elected they make sure the special interest groups are taken care of. Thus the combination of two words, Pork Barrel, was invented. That part is obviously more important to them because they can get rich after their time in office either by giving speeches or working as a lobbyist. Just look at Bill Clinton.

I’m still wondering how We The People get on their list of people to represent. Remember, Obama turned down public financing.

Public financing…that’s us folks. When a politician rejects that, they’re rejecting us.

* * *

Ornament

We’ve got our Christmas tree up and finished it off with Clark Griswold’s favorite Santa Claus ornament. For me it wouldn’t be a tree without it.

There’s no Uncle Lewis to set fire to it while lighting his cigar so hopefully the ornament will survive another Christmas at our house.

* * *

George Bush wanted Iraq and he got it, shoes and all. It’s surreal to watch the news coverage of Bush’s surprise visit to Iraq and see a reporter from Egypt throw not one but both of his shoes at him. Lucky for Bush he ducked them.

My big question is where was the Secret Service?

* * *

Do you wonder if the St. Johns School Board is still going ahead with their plans to build more schools and make improvements to existing buildings? I think they’ve scrapped some of their ideas for school upgrades such as artificial turf on the football field or as some of us call them, frills. Do they still feel we need it at a time when the nation’s economy is crumbling?

I wonder too.

As for classroom size just wait a few years and that too will change for the better. People are moving out of Michigan seeking employment wherever they can find it.

Some of the words I think describes what we’re seeing from them are irresponsible, out of touch, current events challenged, and unconcerned.

Take your pick.

* * *

I finished reading the book, Lone Survivor. It takes me a while some times, but I enjoyed the book very much. It’s an insight into what these young men went through in Afghanistan and how brave they were under fire. I thank Walt Thelen for the opportunity to read it.

My next book? I’ll have to see what Santa brings.

Until the next time . . .

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A new toy, PAC money, and Lone Survivor

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:46:32 -0800

I got a new toy for Christmas. Already you ask? Yup, already. It’s a negative scanner, a perfect gift for a guy who has hundreds (sometimes I think it’s thousands) of negatives ranging in size from 35mm all the way up to 4x5 inches. I have bigger negatives that are an oddball size by today’s standard, but they won’t fit in any of the negative holders that came with the scanner.

Can you imagine the size of the enlarger to handle one of them if you wanted blowups? Me, I would just make a contact print and be happy with that.

I also received another early Christmas gift from Jean, a book. The title of it is, The Best of Barry, and it’s full of photos I took this year that Jean picked out. You can’t go to the library and check it out; you can’t find it on a book store shelf. It’s a one of a kind book with photos from cover to cover.

It’s looking at my world through the eye of my camera. I had to say eye because my camera’s a Cyclops.

[Editor’s note: In our year-end issue we will share Barry’s photos with our readers.]

* * *

I’m still wondering how We The People get on their list of people to represent. Remember, Obama turned down public financing.

Public financing…that’s us folks. When a politician rejects that, they’re rejecting us.

* * *

Ornament

We’ve got our Christmas tree up and finished it off with Clark Griswold’s favorite Santa Claus ornament. For me it wouldn’t be a tree without it.

There’s no Uncle Lewis to set fire to it while lighting his cigar so hopefully the ornament will survive another Christmas at our house.

* * *

My big question is where was the Secret Service?

* * *

I wonder too.

As for classroom size just wait a few years and that too will change for the better. People are moving out of Michigan seeking employment wherever they can find it.

Some of the words I think describes what we’re seeing from them are irresponsible, out of touch, current events challenged, and unconcerned.

Take your pick.

* * *

My next book? I’ll have to see what Santa brings.

Until the next time . . .

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The economic crisis, Brooke, and another button

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:56:18 -0800

If you want to get a bunch of quizzical looks just situate yourself in the middle of a crowd of people and yell at the top of your lungs, "Go Lions!"

It really works.

If you try this make sure you have an escape route because the guys in white will be coming after you.

* * *

The more I talk about the economy, the worse it gets. Do you suppose I should just shut up? I don’t think so, Gram.

Where did the notion come from that the executives of the auto companies mismanaged their companies any more than the executives of the financial institutions? I think they both share the same blame. AIG got their bailout almost immediately and without question. Once the deal was cut they held a $400,000 weekend retreat for their executives. It kinda looks like we’ve been had — at least by them.

I know the Senate and House committees have been having fun with the auto executives over flying to Washington on corporate jets. I have two sons-in-law that fly for their companies; and even though they don’t fly on corporate jets, there’s still an expense involved and it’s necessary.

Even President-elect Barack Obama has jumped on the band wagon’ and he, too, is bashing the auto executives.

Do any of us common folks really care how they traveled to Washington? Isn’t why they’re there more important? The country is folding around Congress; and all they can say is, "Hey dude, how’d you get here?"

I don’t believe any members of these committees could withstand the kind of scrutiny they place these guys under. And furthermore, who are they to point fingers? They’re all a bit shaky.

Let’s get to the real question and bypass all of that political rhetoric. Isn’t the viability of the auto industry a matter of national defense? That’s all I would ask because it sure as hell was during World War II.

I think we do what we have to do to make the auto industry whole again. If we have to ask for some resignations along the way, so be it. We’ve had the right people in charge during times of need, and we’ve had the wrong people in charge. At this stage I want the right people.

As for the economy as a whole, I’m all for what some people have suggested. If the American workers have to sacrifice during hard economic times, so should Congress. A reduction in their numbers and a reduction of their benefits only seem fitting during these times. Maybe they should have to co-pay their health insurance or maybe cut it altogether like some people are experiencing now.

If that actually happened to the members of Congress, what do you want to bet things will get better in a hurry?

Just like the price of gas.

Meanwhile, I’m not going to change my spending habits, at least not for now. I’ll just keep doing what I do. I’m not going to take our money out of the credit union and stuff it in our mattress. With my luck the house would burn down the same day and that mattress would go up in flames. We don’t have to stuff our mattresses anyway thanks to our money being insured.

If we really want to have an economic recovery in this country, let’s get rid of that made in China tag or labeling on almost everything we buy.

* * *

I just learned that our youngest granddaughter, Brooke, rolled over from her tummy to her back while playing with her dad. Are we missing things? Not really. We keep in touch via phone almost daily and through the internet with pictures, and I’m sure Walt and Bernie do too. They are Brooke’s other grandparents who are just as interested in her growth as we are.

* * *

I keep hitting the horn button on the keyless car door opener on my key chain. It drives me nuts! Its purpose is to help me find our car in a large parking lot. In the ten years we’ve had our car we have yet to lose it. That doesn’t matter; I keep hitting the button anyway.

Monday morning was one of those mornings. The horn started honking and I hadn’t even left the house yet. I felt like yelling out to Betty, "Honey, I found the car," to which she’d say, "You hit that button again, didn’t you?"

"Yup."

Until the next time . . .

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A lie, Thanksgiving, and Black Friday

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:52:54 -0800

Do you ever wonder if they lie about it? I’m talking about the Detroit Lions. Did they really sell out all the tickets to the Thanksgiving Day game against the Tennessee Titans?

I can just see the guy in charge of tickets sales waiting outside William Clay Ford’s office behind a long line of people looking for a free Ford. They have to be giving them away because they can’t sell them anymore. When he finally got in to see Ford, he had to tell him they only sold three tickets for the game.

William, being the astute owner of the team says, "Oh crap, I guess I’ll have to buy the remaining tickets; otherwise we’re not going to be on national TV on Thanksgiving Day. After we fought the NFL over the rights to that game we can’t lose it now.

"Maybe I should give that guy in St. Johns a call. What’s his number? With him we wouldn’t have this problem. People will go to the game just to see what that dummy does. Where the hell’s my Scotch and water?"

That’s the first smart thing ol’ William said since he got his first driver’s license. About the Scotch and water? Nope, that I was a dummy.

I would have the entire offensive line report in as receivers. The rules don’t allow that, but what the hell — it’s worth trying to sneak it past the referees. They’re easily fooled sometimes. So we get penalized; at least we’re moving the ball. Our offensive line couldn’t stop their mothers-in-law, but they could go out short for a pass. Let the quarterback fend for himself.

He does now anyway.

I’m not going to get up in a press conference and tell those guys it’s all on me. I’m going to tell the truth and say that we’ve got too many dumb football players. They peaked in college, and we shouldn’t have drafted them in the first place.

It seems kind of silly to imagine things like that, but our imagination helps us do what the Detroit Lions can’t do.

It gives us an occasional win.

* * *

It’s been a different Thanksgiving this year. It was the first Thanksgiving without Betty’s Mom, Genevieve Motz. Over the last eight years we’ve gotten used to her being here with us. Mom had a way with the English language. That’s to say, she used it a lot. If you had something to say, you’d better squeeze it in sideways because we’d have to interrupt her from time to time. As a person gets older they’ve earned that extra patience from us.

We don’t have Mom around anymore to ask her the question of how things were when she was younger. The stories about relatives coming to live with them during hard times were right out of the Reminisce magazine. They survived the Depression and got to know their relatives all at the same time.

She was like a history book to us, and we miss that.

We’ll be there someday, and all too soon; and I hope we can also remember things to tell our kids (that includes our sons-in-law) and hopefully we’ll be able say to them, "I remember when." That’s the stuff that’s always a joy to hear and a joy to talk about, and just maybe that’s the stuff this country is made of.

I certainly hope so.

* * *

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday? That makes it sound like Doomsday.

Good Lord.

We use to go shopping that day and eat dinner out. One of the few opportunities we had in those days. Betty’s Mom used to baby-sit for us, and we always bought her a box of chocolates as thanks.

She never expected money for helping out. She did that for all of us, and we were lucky.

I’m not going to tell the story about Renee and a box of chocolates one Christmas. I don’t know for sure if she even likes them anymore. We did get past the Scotch pudding, and now she likes it. It’s a family joke.

I’ve eaten so much turkey since Thanksgiving Day that I’m starting to gobble. Does that sound familiar?

Until the next time . . .

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Christmas movies, TV format, and trading

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:49:01 -0800

This is the time of year when they start showing Christmas movies on TV. By the time Christmas gets here we’re all fizzled out. Our eyeballs start looking like test patterns, which by the way, you never see on TV anymore. I blame it on the Hallmark Channel; they keep bringing out new movies. We have to watch them to see if they’ve put a new twist to it. Of course they didn’t.

It was the late 1960s when I first watched a movie called It’s a Wonderful Life on my little black and white TV at the apartment. It was an obscure film at that time. It was probably shown on just a few stations in the country. Over the years it’s become one of the most popular Christmas movies of all time. It became public domain and every TV station in the country was showing it several times during the holiday. Now I think they’re back to showing it just once.

In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash — recognized the title of this book? It’s what the movie A Christmas Story was based on. They also call it, "The B-B gun story."

They dated the movie as taking place in 1940 even though they used a 1946 fire truck in it. At least that’s what they tell me. There were a few other things that weren’t quite factual.

The father, played by Darren McGavin, is my favorite character in the movie because he cussed out his Oldsmobile for freezing up. I’ve done that with a couple of Oldsmobiles we’ve had only for different reasons. The only Oldsmobile we bought brand new was a 1977 Delta 88, and it was a great car until the paint started flaking off. That’s when I started cussing.

Olds did help pay for a new paint job.

My grandfather was an Oldsmobile man, and ever since I’ve known him he bought Oldsmobiles. I never heard him cuss his cars out once. My father owned nothing but clunkers; and as far as I know, none of them were Oldsmobiles.

Did he swear at his cars? I don’t know, but I must have got it somewhere.

* * *

We bought a new TV recently. It wasn’t our idea; we were satisfied with our old one (you get comfortable with things) but the trouble was it kept shutting off on us. Our new one is a long squatty thing with a LCD screen. No more picture tube. I thought our new one would be more in tune with today’s screen format.

Wrong!

We still get a letter box picture half the time. The other day the picture was the same proportion as our screen only smaller. We had a black border on all four sides. My question is, what the hell for? If I wanted a little picture, I would have bought a little TV! Fill the screen with a picture; that’s all I ask.

* * *

The Detroit Lions were blacked out again, so I went upstairs and brought my little TV down. I hooked it up to our non-directional antenna on the roof that looks like a flying saucer to those who made up a batch of eggnog earlier and added more than enough spirits to it.

The reception reminded me of the old days, but the Lions didn’t. They (without fail) lost the game. I’m one step closer to being the new head coach. What have they got to lose?

Remember, I’ll get one million dollars for every win and nothing for a loss.

* * *

HornofPlenty

If the economy keeps going to hell most of us will have two new words in our vocabulary. Bartering and trading. We’ll have to start raising chickens in a lean-to out behind the shed. We’ll feed them old stale peanuts or free range them. Maybe a little garbage once in a while if there is such a thing. The City doesn’t even have to know about it. The neighbors won’t turn us in because they’ll be doing the same thing.

We can barter our labor, or we can trade our eggs downtown like they did in the old days. One thing about it, if we trade our eggs at the party store all anyone will get is high cholesterol; but the stuff they trade in return will knock you right on your butt.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks.

Until the next time . . .

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A dummy, a phone call, and the turkey

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:28:50 -0800

I finally figured it out. Who does Vice President-elect Joe Biden remind me of? A dummy — of course.

Walter

I don’t mean to say he’s a dummy because time will tell the story on him. I’m talking about Jeff Dunham’s ventriloquist dummy, Walter. If you look at Walter you’ll see the same face and the same mannerisms except Walter hasn’t had any hair plugs as yet.

I’ll pass on the hair plugs.

* * *

I haven’t received a call yet from William Clay Ford, owner of the Detroit Lions. I’m expecting it any day now. In the meantime, while I’m waiting I’m doing two things. I’m rooting against the Dallas Cowboys because we have their number one draft pick. And I’m rooting against the Lions so that they will get the first pick in the draft. If we do end up with the first pick, the odds are we’ll get a very good football player. That will make my job as the new head coach a lot easier.

1-15 isn’t going to impress anybody anymore than 1-16. It’s a lost season and a very unimpressive season to be sure.

We had the number three pick in 1989 and drafted Barry Sanders. We could have drafted Tony Mandrich out of Michigan State which would have been a huge mistake. We have the Green Bay Packers to thank for that.

They took him with the second pick.

* * *

I think a lot of us thought the economy was bad, but all of a sudden it’s gotten a lot worse. Our financial institutions and auto companies are standing in line in Washington waiting for a handout. That is if they haven’t already gotten one. Otherwise they’re telling us the bogeyman is going to pay all of us a visit.

They’ve got the employees and retirees of all the domestic auto parts suppliers and auto companies sweating it out. What is it we’re going to lose next? That’s what they’re asking themselves and rightfully so.

Concessions haven’t been the answer because they can’t possibly cut deep enough. We’ve seen that with Federal-Mogul. If an employee cannot afford the products they produce, then all is lost anyway.

What we didn’t learn from the 1967 and 1973 oil embargoes we’re learning now. Yes, there were two embargoes. There’s an old saying that goes, "Book smart and common sense stupid." I think that explains the problem. With the knowledge of the embargoes our auto companies still went ahead and built gas guzzlers, and we bought them. The pickup trucks of today are half-again the size of the pickups thirty years ago.

It’s time for us to learn.

There are pros and cons to bailing out the Big Three. Some people believe bankruptcy would force the auto industry into cutting back to a point where they’re stable again. Others fear that government money will only allow the Big Three to do business the same old way.

I wouldn’t want to be the one who makes the wrong decision on the bailout, but I’ll venture a guess.

My guess is the best thing we can do for auto companies and suppliers is find a way to reduce their health care costs. In other words stop talking about it, and do something. I would go in that direction first before I gave the auto companies a blank check.

* * *

The turkey hot-line is about to get busy. People will call in and ask what they should do to fix their Thanksgiving dinner. One question that’s always asked is how long should they thaw their frozen bird and what’s the safest way. We’ll be putting our frozen turkey in the refrigerator in the garage on Saturday which will give it five days to thaw. Any remaining ice in the turkey is then thawed by putting it into a pan of cold water and changing the water as often as needed.

For those of you who call in on Thanksgiving about thawing your turkey, forget it and order out.

I’ve had days when a burger or pizza sounded good.

Until the next time . . .

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Deer hunting, the economy, and proper English

nobody@vox.com(Barry Bauer) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:04:26 -0800

An Apple tree has apples, a cherry tree has cherries, a Peach tree has peaches, and a Walnut tree has walnuts. So why does an Oak tree have acorns?

Just wondering.

* * *

The deer hunting gun season starts this weekend. It brings back memories of many of my less than successful hunts. One of the hunting stories I heard that made me feel better about myself as a deer hunter involved a co-worker who was deer hunting one day, and the barrel fell off his shotgun.

I never had that happen to me; but it seems like the rest of the things that could possibly go wrong, did go wrong.

I had the biggest deer I ever saw come out right where I was sitting a minute before at the Motz’s woods. The only trouble was I was down at the corner of the woods walking back when I saw it. Nobody ever accused me of being a Private York with a shotgun, but I did empty the gun in the deer’s direction.

The big buck ran across the road, stopped and looked back as if to say, "What the hell was that all about?"

He had just met ol’ bauer — the hunter.

* * *

I liken our current economic situation to a mother who worries so much about her children’s health that she doesn’t take care herself. We as a country are stretched so thin all over the world doing who knows what, and we have to change that.

So what should we do? We need to pull back to our shores and right the ship before venturing out again on one of those costly crusades. I don’t think we’ve even paid for the Vietnam War yet, and we’ve had two more Wars in Iraq since then -- not to mention the skirmishes we’ve gotten into.

I think we ought to have at least a fifty-year moratorium on wars. Especially those that aren’t that necessary.

It’s time.

No more following the Japanese into Korea. No more following the French into Vietnam (French Indochina.) No more following the British, Russians, and the French into the Middle East (Ottoman Empire.) And no more following the Russians into Afghanistan.

* * *

Isn’t it amazing how many prescription pills we take as we get older? I recently acquired a few more of them; but because one was pulled off the market, I got to reading those pamphlets the pharmacy sends home that tells a person what it is they’re taking and what it might do to them.

Dry cough, liver damage, bleeding, and a bunch of other unwanted things. All of a sudden I think I’d feel better without these pills.

Then I got to wondering why these pills are so expensive, other than the fact that the drug companies are trying to keep up with the oil companies and make unimaginable profits. One of my pills contains corn starch, lactose, magnesium stearate, pregelatinized starch, sodium bicarbonate powder, and red ferric oxide. I call all of this filler.

Sounds like Strawberry Jell-O, doesn’t it?

* * *

As we get closer to Christmas (yes, I’m aware it’s really a long ways off) we get more and more ads in our newspaper. Now it seems like the paper contains 2/3 ads and 1/3 news. I think all this stuff is neat, but it’s not from my generation.

Just get me a Lionel train. I can’t figure those video games out anyway.

* * *

I come from a place called Geezerville, but I’m not so old that I don’t enjoy what I call good pop music. The latest song that caught my ear is Human. It’s by a group called The Killers. They appeared on Saturday Night Live not too long ago.

They’ve been catching flak about a particular word in the song. The lyrics go:

Are we human?

Or are we dancer?

I guess they have a problem with the words we and dancer. One’s plural and one’s singular. The critics wanted dancers.

Me, I have Jean to try and make my writings look like proper English; and for that I’m lucky. Meanwhile I’ll keep on enjoying the song.

Are we human?

Or are we dancer?

Until the next time . . .

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