A dummy, a phone call, and the turkey
I finally figured it out. Who does Vice President-elect Joe Biden remind me of? A dummy — of course. I don’t mean to say he’s a dummy because time will tell the story on him. I’m talking about Jeff Dunham’s ventriloquist dummy, Walter. If you look at Walter you’ll see the same face and the same mannerisms except Walter hasn’t had any hair plugs as yet. I’ll pass on the hair plugs. * * * I haven’t received a call yet from William Clay Ford, owner of the Detroit Lions. I’m expecting it any day now. In the meantime, while I’m waiting I’m doing two things. I’m rooting against the Dallas Cowboys because we have their number one draft pick. And I’m rooting against the Lions so that they will get the first pick in the draft. If we do end up with the first pick, the odds are we’ll get a very good football player. That will make my job as the new head coach a lot easier. 1-15 isn’t going to impress anybody anymore than 1-16. It’s a lost season and a very unimpressive season to be sure. We had the number three pick in 1989 and drafted Barry Sanders. We could have drafted Tony Mandrich out of Michigan State which would have been a huge mistake. We have the Green Bay Packers to thank for that. They took him with the second pick. * * * I think a lot of us thought the economy was bad, but all of a sudden it’s gotten a lot worse. Our financial institutions and auto companies are standing in line in Washington waiting for a handout. That is if they haven’t already gotten one. Otherwise they’re telling us the bogeyman is going to pay all of us a visit. They’ve got the employees and retirees of all the domestic auto parts suppliers and auto companies sweating it out. What is it we’re going to lose next? That’s what they’re asking themselves and rightfully so. Concessions haven’t been the answer because they can’t possibly cut deep enough. We’ve seen that with Federal-Mogul. If an employee cannot afford the products they produce, then all is lost anyway. What we didn’t learn from the 1967 and 1973 oil embargoes we’re learning now. Yes, there were two embargoes. There’s an old saying that goes, "Book smart and common sense stupid." I think that explains the problem. With the knowledge of the embargoes our auto companies still went ahead and built gas guzzlers, and we bought them. The pickup trucks of today are half-again the size of the pickups thirty years ago. It’s time for us to learn. There are pros and cons to bailing out the Big Three. Some people believe bankruptcy would force the auto industry into cutting back to a point where they’re stable again. Others fear that government money will only allow the Big Three to do business the same old way. I wouldn’t want to be the one who makes the wrong decision on the bailout, but I’ll venture a guess. My guess is the best thing we can do for auto companies and suppliers is find a way to reduce their health care costs. In other words stop talking about it, and do something. I would go in that direction first before I gave the auto companies a blank check. * * * The turkey hot-line is about to get busy. People will call in and ask what they should do to fix their Thanksgiving dinner. One question that’s always asked is how long should they thaw their frozen bird and what’s the safest way. We’ll be putting our frozen turkey in the refrigerator in the garage on Saturday which will give it five days to thaw. Any remaining ice in the turkey is then thawed by putting it into a pan of cold water and changing the water as often as needed. For those of you who call in on Thanksgiving about thawing your turkey, forget it and order out. I’ve had days when a burger or pizza sounded good. Until the next time . . .
